


Six Years

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Death, Everybody Dies, F/F, F/M, Grieving, Literally everyone - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Murder, Suicide, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 09:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7355422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>August 20, 2011</p><p>John wakes up that morning in bed alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Six Years

  
_August 20, 2011_

John wakes up that morning in bed alone. It's an unfamiliar feeling, at least one of his significant others usually being there next to him. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes, rolling over to one side of the bed and grabbing his phone from the nightstand. It was almost noon.

"Good morning," Alex says to him when he trudges out into the hallway. He walks up to him and kisses him on the cheek, handing him a plate of food as he does. John takes it blindly, following Alex to the couch and sitting down next to him.

"You guys didn't wake me up," John mumbles, stabbing his fork into the scrambled eggs that were obviously made by Lafayette. Lafayette always put milk in theirs, something that Alexander nor Hercules did.

"You looked tired," Alex tells him, mouth full of his own food. John nods, knowing that if they had woken him up earlier that he'd be half dead the whole day. Not that it mattered, today was Saturday, which means that he had all weekend to spend with his significant others doing absolutely nothing.

Lafayette comes over and sits down next to Alex, balancing a mug of coffee and their plate in each hand. John glares at the pure black liquid, not knowing how Alex or Lafayette can drink it like that. Alex elbows Lafayette, pointing to the mug with his fork. Lafayette sighs before handing it over, watching as Alex downs half of the cup on the first sip.

"Eliza called," Alex tells them, handing the mug back to Lafayette.

"Was it about your inability to share?" Lafayette asks, putting the coffee on the end table out of Alex's reach. 

"No. She asked us if we want to go out for dinner with her, Angelica, Peggy, and Maria tonight."

"Are we going?" Hercules questions, handing John a mug of coffee. His food is balanced precariously on his mug, wobbling as he leans down to hand it to him.

"I think we should," Alex says. John throws his head back and groans.

"I thought we were staying home today to relax and do nothing," John complains, resting his head on Alex's shoulder.

"It was, but we haven't seen the Schuylers in forever," Lafayette argues. John has to admit that it was true, the last time he saw them being when they had thrown the Fourth of July party a month and a half ago.

"Fine, but I want at least four hours of doing nothing," John says, biting the food off of his fork for emphasis.

"That leaves two hours of empty space," Hercules points out.

"Twenty minutes to get wherever, twenty minutes to get dressed, an additional forty for Lafayette to be ready to leave, and forty minutes for Other Things," John explains, wiggling his eyebrows so they know exactly what Other Things implies. Alex laughs, leaning over to John and kissing him. Alex pulls away, staring into John's eyes.

The four of them leave their food on the coffee table, rushing off to their bedroom.

They end up being late to dinner, but the Schuylers and Maria forgive them, so John doesn't feel too guilty.

After all, there will be other dinners.

\---

_August 27, 2011_

It's Saturday again, and Alex and John are walking down the street, hands clasped tightly together. Alex is dragging John along as he skips ahead, being motivated by John's breathless laughter as he struggles to keep up.

"Come on, John! We have to be at Hercules' studio in five minutes!" Alex yells, breaking out into a run. John yelps, almost tripping because of the sudden increase in speed.

"Give me time!" John calls back, sweaty hand slipping from Alex's as he stops. Alex turns around to see John hunched over with his hands on his knees and his chest heaving. He throws a weak thumbs up to Alex. Alex stands there, hands on his hips, smile gracing his face.

"You okay?" Alex asks, going over to John and seeing if he's okay. John nods, still panting. He sits down on a bench, pushing the hair off of his forehead as he leans against the building window behind him.

"You can go on without me," John says.

"Why would I do that?" Alex asks, sitting next to John on the bench. John leans his head on Alex's shoulder. Alex beams. He loves when John does that.

"Because Hercules and Lafayette will kill us if we're both late," John responds easily. Alex considers it for a moment before standing up.

"I'm gonna going to go and defend your honor, see you there," Alex says, kissing John before jogging down the sidewalk.

"Love you!" John shouts after him.

"Love you too!" Alex calls back, already far enough away that it hurts to yell that loud.

He's only two minutes late by the time he gets to Hercules' studio, but Lafayette interrogates him anyway. They only stop when they notice that John is not with him.

"Where is he?" Lafayette asks.

"He stayed behind to catch his breath, he'll be here in a bit," Alex responds. Lafayette shrugs, dragging Alex over to see whatever he ran here for.

John doesn't show up.

It's been four hours since Alex had left John on that bench, and since then the three of them have called him countless times and sent him hundreds of text messages. He hasn't responded.

"I'm going back," Alex says, walking over to the door. Lafayette and Hercules follow, but all of them stop.

It's three blocks away, but they can see the lights from both the ambulance and the police lights flashing, the sirens still going off. How did they not notice that before?

"It can't be John," Lafayette says, "right?"

Alex doesn't answer. He takes off into a sprint in the scene's direction, leaving Lafayette and Hercules there to chase after him.

He's running as fast as he can, lungs burning. He can't get there fast enough. This can't be John. It can't be. If it is, it means that Alex left him. It means that Alex left John alone and, in the time where he thought he was fine, he wasn't. It can't be John.

It is.

He lies on the ground in a pool of his own blood, his whole body spasms. Alex is stopped by a police officer's arm hitting his chest. A paramedic is digging into John's chest with something. John's mouth is wide open, horrible screaming noises ripping out of his throat whenever he can.

"No," he whispers. Lafayette and Hercules crash into his back, reacting the same way Alex did.

"John," Lafayette cries. They're breathing raggedly, hands coming up to cover their mouth. Hercules makes a broken noise, physically turning away.

"I'm sorry, do you know this man?" the police officer asks Alex, hearing the three of them.

"H-He's my, my boyfriend. I'm his emergency contact. What happened?" Alex is talking almost too quickly. He can't wrap his head around this. His thoughts are running through his head too quickly.

"He was shot in a drive-by. We think the shooter may have gotten the wrong guy," the officer explains.

"No fucking way. I, for one, and shocked," Alex says. He doesn't have the time to be told that John was the intended target. There are tears in his eyes. His jaw in clenched as tight as it can be. The police office looks offended before turning around.

"Alex, look," Lafayette breathes out. Their voice is shaky, and Alex understands why.

John isn't moving. The paramedic starts doing CPR, but Alex can't see it anymore. Everything is blurring together. There's a blaring sound of something, and it takes Alex a minute to realize that it's his own screaming. He collapses to the ground, Lafayette's arms wrapped around him.

\---

_August 30, 2011  
_  
Alex is sitting in the backseat of a cab.

He can't remember what happened after the paramedic had tried to save John. He knows that it didn't work, or else he wouldn't be sitting in this cab with this suit on.  
He doesn't remember the past two days.

He doesn't remember if Lafayette had really thrown that vase at the front door when they got home or if he just dreamed it. Doesn't remember if he woke up to find Hercules gone or not. He can't remember John's funeral. Had he spoken at it? He doesn't think so, but there's three pieces of folded paper in his jacket pocket and Alex doesn't know what else it could be for.

"Alex," Lafayette says. Alex snaps back to attention. He looks to Lafayette, wordlessly asking what Lafayette had said his name for.

"We're home," they tell him. Alex looks around. He doesn't remember getting in this cab. It's stopped in front of their apartment building. Alex nods, getting out on Lafayette's side. Hercules gets out on his side, placing his hand on Alex's lower back when they all join together again on the front steps.

Lafayette unlocks the front door, sighing when the finally step into the apartment.

There's broken glass on the floor.

They all hang up their suits in the closet, huddling together in their bed before the sun has even gone down. Alex leans against Hercules. Alex doesn't mind this. Hercules's chest is solid behind him, assuring Alex that he's here.

"Did you go somewhere last night?" Alex whispers to him. Hercules and Lafayette worriedly glance at each other over the top of his head.

"No," Hercules answers. Alex starts crying at the response. He couldn't remember. Why can't he remember?

"I'm sorry," Alex whispers, "I'm so sorry." Lafayette holds him tighter, pulls him closer.

"You're fine," Lafayette whispers. Alex knows that they hear it as they say it.

None of them are fine.

They never will be.

\---

_November 27, 2012  
_  
Hercules and Lafayette walk through the cemetery, navigating it entirely by muscle memory by now. Hercules has a bouquet of flowers clenched in the hand not holding Lafayette's.

"I feel bad being here without Alex," Hercules admits. Alex is at home, probably still asleep. Eliza had come over to make sure that someone was there when he woke up so he didn't panic. Hercules just hopes that's enough.

"We can't bring him here anymore, Hercules. He blames himself for John's death and until he doesn't anymore, he can't see him," Lafayette says for what seems like the thousandth time. Hercules knows this. He knew this when they first brought him here and he broke down crying.

"I know, but he loved him just as much as we did. This feels wrong," Hercules responds.

"We're just here to replace the flowers. Then we go get Alex's medication and we go back home to him." Hercules nods.

Hercules doesn't know how long they spend in the cemetery. Lafayette starts crying at one point when they're there. Their stockings rip when they kneel down to take the dying flowers from John's stone. Hercules can tell that they're from the Schuyler sisters, the pastel colored roses so remarkably them that Hercules can almost picture them there.

They're back home soon enough. Alex is sitting on the couch when they get back, a cup of tea held in his hands. Eliza is standing in the kitchen, getting two more mugs out of the cabinet when she sees that it's them.

"Hello, _mon cher_ ," Lafayette says softly, smiling at him.

"Lafayette," Alex says, grinning back at them. Lafayette walks over to him, kissing his forehead.

"Alex," Hercules greets, following Lafayette and kissing Alex's forehead.

Hercules knows that Alex doesn't them to parent him. He knows that Alex wants things to go back to normal, but things weren't normal anymore. John was dead, and there was nothing they could do about it.

"Was he okay when he woke up?" Lafayette asks Eliza, voice dropping to a whisper. Eliza nodded.

"I went into your bedroom to see how he was doing when he was just waking up so I caught him just in time. He was a bit panicked at first but I was there and I calmed him down enough that it didn't get too bad. Then I brought him out here and made tea," Eliza replies.

Eliza stays with them until late that night, and by then the tea has gone cold and Alex is asleep again, but that's fine.

They're dealing with this.

\---

_May 28, 2012  
_  
Eliza is sitting on the island counter in her kitchen, watching through the window above the sink as her backyard becomes morphed as the rain pours down the glass. She drinks the rest of her glass of water and sets it down beside her.

It's three in the morning. Eliza can't sleep. Angelica and Peggy are asleep in their rooms, peacefully unaware of the situation. Maria is asleep in Eliza's bed, having gone back to bed after Eliza woke her when Eliza herself had woken up.

She felt like something was wrong, she just couldn't tell what. Maybe it was the storm. Maybe it was the way that John had died nine months ago yesterday. Eliza is about to put her glass away when the doorbell rings.

Maybe that's what's wrong.

She pads over to the door, not knowing who would ever come to her house at this hour. She opens the door, confused at who she sees standing there.

Burr is soaking wet, eyes red. His clothes are dirty and it looks like he hasn't eaten in days. He looks severely unhealthy.

"I didn't know where else to go," he tells her. She ushers him in out of the rain and the cold.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"She's dead," he responds surprisingly easily, like he's been rehearsing it. Eliza stops in her tracks.

Theodosia had been sick for a long time. She had stomach cancer, and by the time they found it, they couldn't save her. It made this something that Eliza should have seen. Eliza should have known that Theodosia was doing worse. She should have known.

"Aaron," she whispers, pulling his wet body into her arms before he can protest. He sobs, wrapping his arms around her.

Eliza ends up making Mac and Cheese with Aaron Burr at three in the morning in the dark. They're eating it together at the counter bar in complete silence.

"She told me she loved me," Aaron whispers. Eliza looks up from her bowl at him.

"Those were her last words to me," he says.

"I'm sorry," Eliza apologizes, placing her hand on his shoulder.

Burr shakes his head. "Don't be. Thank you for this, Eliza."

"No problem, honestly. I'm always here if you need to talk to anyone."

"I might need to. Especially with the next few days and everything," he tells her. Eliza nods, understanding.

Burr sleeps on the living room couch that night in pajamas that she stole from her father's dresser. He's bundled up in three blankets, warming his still damp skin until he's comfortable enough to sleep. Eliza retreats to her own bedroom, falling asleep next to the woman she loves.

She doesn't know how many more times she'll have that chance.

\---

_June 1, 2012  
_  
Theodosia's funeral had been quiet. Only a handful of people were there, including the Schuyler sisters, Alexander, Lafayette, and Hercules. Various other people were there, some who Burr had met before, and some that he hadn't. 

Eliza sits next to him in the church pew, a comforting hand on his wrist. He's tense, trying with all of his strength not to cry.

His resolve breaks when her casket is carried in. He should be there carrying it with the men that are, but he isn't. He can't help but feel like he let her down. Like if he only he'd have done something, then he wouldn't be here. He'd be home with her, the velvet box with engagement ring in it that he had planned to give her in two months still tucked into one of his winter jacket pockets.

He stays for the funeral and he watches her get buried, but he slips out after that. Eliza chases after him, wanting him to go out to dinner with the rest of them.

"I can't, Eliza. I need to go home and sleep for a very long time. When I wake up I'm going to go back to work and try and try to function without her," he says.

"You don't have to be alone."

"I want to be. I need to be. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Eliza mutters, watching as he gets into the funeral limo and riding off.

He just wants to go home.

\---

_August 27, 2012  
_  
Lafayette walks with Alex to John's grave. Hercules had gone to work that day, throwing himself into his work rather than thinking about what today is. Alex has one bouquet of flowers and Lafayette has another. They plan to visit Theodosia after this, knowing that Burr will be here tomorrow to do the same.

"Can you give me a moment?" Alex asks Lafayette once they get to John.

"Sure. I'm going to go see Theo," Lafayette tells him, patting his shoulder as they leave Alex to John.

Alex sits on the ground, not caring if he gets dirty or not. Wet soil marks the sides of his calves, but he barely notices.

"Hi, John. I've only recently been allowed to see you again as Lafayette and Hercules were worried about how I'd react. I understand why, but it still feels kind of weird to think about."

"It's been a year, John. A year since I left you on the park bench and you never came back. I'm still sorry about it, John. I know that you dying wasn't my fault, but I just wish that I'd seen you one last time before it happened. I'm so sorry," Alex says, placing his tentative fingers on the stone before he stands up. Lafayette is standing behind him, the bouquet of flowers they brought no longer with them.

"We should go," they say, kissing Alexander on the back of his head. Alex turns around and kisses them, grabbing their hand and taking them out of the graveyard. They're almost out of the gates when Alex trips over his own shoelaces.

Alex swears he can hear John's laugh in the way the wind blows.

\---

_November 28, 2012  
_  
Burr is used to going to the cemetery to visit Theodosia alone or with Eliza. He's not used to squishing himself into the back of a cab with Alexander, Lafayette, and Hercules to go visit Theo and John.

Lafayette had asked him if it would be okay to go with him as they hadn't been able to go the previous day. Burr understood what it was like to lose someone you love and to mourn them, so he had agreed.

He doesn't know why he did that.  
  
Alex has not stopped talking the whole time that he has been in the car. Lafayette and Hercules just stare at him like they've never seen him do this before. Burr certainly has.  
The three of them depart from Burr when they get there.

Burr doesn't usually say anything out loud to Theo, only every thinking what he would say if she was here. They would talk about their recent engagement if she had accepted it. He would go on for hours about how beautiful she was going to look in her dress or whatever she chose to wear. She would laugh, slapping him on the arm and telling him to stop. He would try and defend his words, explaining about how truly stunning she is. Was.

Burr is crying now, tears dripping down his face before he can stop it. He covers his own mouth with his sleeve, trying to muffle his sobs. He thinks it works, but he's proven wrong when Hercules' arm wraps around his shoulder.

"Does it ever get easier?" Burr asks.

"No. You just learn to live with it," he responds. Burr nods, turning to exit the cemetery.

He had planned to go back home and go to sleep, but the three of them weren't having it. Hercules had all but pulled Burr out of the taxi, guiding him up the stairs and into their apartment.

He spends the night at their apartment, and as he falls asleep in between Alex and Hercules, he knows that he needed this.

He really needed this.

\---

_December 14, 2012_  
It's finally Friday. Alex and Hercules are both working late, meaning Lafayette has the whole apartment to themselves until the two of them get back. They throw themselves onto their bed as soon as they're home, moaning loudly as their phone rings.

"Hello?" they ask, twisting to sit up when they hear crying on the other line.

" _George is dead_ ," Martha sobs out, her voice cutting out when her crying becomes too loud for the phone.

"What?" Lafayette yells. They can recall the conversation they had had with her two days ago where she told them that George had been sick. They specifically remember being told that it was nothing.

" _It t-turns out that what I thought was laryngitis had turned out to be acute epiglottis. He's dead_ ," Martha is still crying. Lafayette knows that Martha had been a widow before this. They know that she probably expected to never go through this again.

"Do you want me to come over?" Lafayette asks her, already getting out of bed to find their shoes.

" _I don't want to inconvenience you_ ," she protests.

"Martha, you're like a mother to me. I'm not letting you sit in that big house alone mourning," they say, taking their key from the bowl and leaving the house.

Alex and Hercules walk to Martha's from their individual workplaces.

Martha has lost two husbands, but she'll always have them.

\---

_December 16, 2012  
_  
Lafayette goes over to Martha's house early that morning. They try to tell her that she should move, that being alone in this huge empty house won't help her, but she won't listen.

Lafayette is exhausted. They've worn this suit three times in the past 16 months. That's too many. This is too much.

Martha is silent during the entire drive there and through the funeral. She has done this before. Her shoulders are drawn back, hands delicate and precise. Her façade doesn't falter until they bury him. One single tear falls down her face, but she's wiping it away before most people notice.

The handkerchief she uses has a GW monogrammed on it.

Lafayette pretends that they don't notice.

\---

_December 27, 2012_

Christmas passes before they know it. They haven't been to work since George died. Martha had dismissed all of them from working in the week leading up to the holidays, not knowing what she wanted to do with the company now that there was nobody to run it.

She's been trying to cope as easily as she can. Lafayette, Alex, and Hercules had all come over for Christmas, refusing to let her be alone for the holidays. She accepted their company gratefully, having already made dinner.

She goes to bed alone now. She has done this before. Staring at the empty space beside her and wishing desperately for her husband to come back is something she has experience with. It's something she knows.

It's something she never wanted to go through again.

Martha's high heels clap against the floor as she walks to George's office. She has taken it upon herself to continue George's work and run the company herself, knowing full well how to after watching it for years firsthand. She uses his keys to unlock his office, sitting down in the chair behind his desk like a throne.

There's a picture of her and him framed on the desk.

She tries not to cry.

\---

_March 13, 2013_

Alex is standing in the Schuyler's kitchen, waiting for the soup he put in the microwave to heat up.

Peggy has been sick. Her condition hasn't gotten any better in the past few weeks and she's been confined to her bed for the past three days. They say it's nothing serious, but Alex isn't sure how casual it could be if she can barely move because of it.

Alex is watching after her for the afternoon. The Schuyler parents were on a vacation to London, not comfortable with leaving their youngest daughter until Angelica and Eliza assured them that it was okay. Angelica was with Eliza and Maria visiting one of their relatives until tomorrow. They hadn't wanted to leave Peggy's side either but then Alex volunteered to watch her.

The microwave beeps. He has to use oven mitts to get the bowl out, and when he does he almost spills it. He quickly carries it to her room.

"Alex?" Peggy asks, eyes closed. She's been trying to sleep for days now, but whenever she finally falls asleep she wakes up sick. She's shivering in the fetal position, burrowed underneath the blankets.

"It's me, Pegs," Alex whispers. Peggy turns to him, opening her eyes.

"I'm not hungry," she says, throat raspy.

"I know, but you have to eat," he tells her, setting the bowl down on her bedside table to help her sit up. She's hot to the touch. Alex needs to go get her a cold rag or something to put on her forehead to try and break the fever.

"Do you want my help?" Alex asks. She shakes her head no, but her arms tremble as she accepts the bowl from him. Alex shakes his head and takes the bowl from her, feeling kind of awkward with feeding her but not enough to shy away from it. Her lips are chapped as she sips from the spoon, jaw moving weakly as she chews the noodles.

She finishes the bowl of soup slowly, but she does it. Alex kisses her forehead and gets up to take the bowl back into the kitchen.

"Alex," she calls out, "am I going to be okay?"

"You're going to be fine, Peggy," Alex says. Peggy smiles sleepily, turning over to the position she was in when Alex came in.

She's going to be fine.

\---

_March 14, 2013_

Alex wakes up with an ache in his back and a new voicemail. His eyes are half closed as he reaches around blindly to hit the speaker button, sighing as Eliza's voice rings out loud and clear in his ears.

" _Hey, Alex! It's like eight in the morning so you're probably still asleep but we'll be home by about noon today. Just thought we should call to tell you. Thank you for helping Peggy for us, we'll see you this afternoon, bye!_ "

It's almost noon. His alarm hadn't woken him up. Fuck.

He rushes up from the recliner chair he slept on, racing to the kitchen to get the plastic cup for Peggy's medicine that he had washed after her last dosage yesterday and sprinting to her room.

He drops the cup.

Alex knows it as soon as he sees her. She's lying on her back, hands folded on her stomach. Her head is turned to one side, hair delicately fanning out onto her pillow. She isn't breathing.

The front door is opening.

"Alex! We're home!" Angelica yells. He can hear their bags being set down at the front door as they rush up to Peggy's room to see their beloved sister.

They run into Alex's back. They know. Eliza doesn't say anything, just pushes past Alex told pull Peggy into her arms.

"She's so cold," Eliza mumbles. She's sobbing into her shoulder, pulling her body as close to her own as she can. Angelica is crying silently like she's trying to hide it. She goes to Eliza, removing her from around Peggy.

"We have to call people," she says. Eliza nods. Maria and Alex are still standing in the doorway.

The Schuylers endure the pain. They take the bullets like Kevlar, not stopping the pain, just spreading it out.

They're strong not because they want to be, but because they have to be.

\---

_May 22, 2013_

Lafayette gets the call during their lunch break.

Martha had been absent for the past two weeks at work, claiming to just be sick with the flu and that it was nothing to really worry about. It hadn't stopped Lafayette from being worried, the last time Martha told them that was when George died.

Martha died that morning. She was found by her neighbor who had gotten an envelope that didn't belong to her.

They get the news and everything blurs together. This is too much. Too many people have died. They push out of their chair, knocking it onto the floor of the break room as they do.

"What's wrong?" Alex asks, surging to stand up. They can't see him. They can see the muddled outline of his face. Their phone is on the floor. When had it gotten there? They pick it up and say something before the end the call.

"It's Martha," they think they say. Whatever they say seems to inform Alex well enough. Lafayette can see the light drains from his eyes.

They black out.

\---

_May 25, 2013  
_  
Martha's funeral is all coming through to Lafayette as static.

They can't see anything. They're trapped in their own head, unable to see past two feet in front of them. Everything around them seems to be muffled and muted. They can register Alex's hand holding theirs and the scratch of the collar of their suit.

This fucking suit.

Everyone is dying around them. They knew that one day eventually that this was going to happen, but they had expected it to be later. They're only twenty-three. They shouldn't be dying this early. Martha was only thirty-nine.

Everything is blurry.

Alex gets up to give her eulogy at the funeral, letting go of their hand. Hercules is holding their other hand before they can see it. They can't see.

Lafayette is home now. When had they gotten here? How had they gotten here? Nobody is home. Their vision is clear as they walk through the house, going to their bedroom to see if Alex and Hercules are still asleep.

There are three people in their bed.

One is Hercules, his broad shoulders not something to be mistaken for anybody else's. The second person is Alex. His black hair peeking over the top of the comforter. Lafayette is afraid to step past the door, standing on their tip toes to see who's in the middle. They're about to fall, placing one foot in front of them to balance. The floor creaks.

Hercules falls out of the bed. His body rolls onto his back. Lafayette screams.

Hercules is dead.

They rip to covers off the bed, gasping when they see John and Alex's dead bodies lying underneath it. They drop the comforter, back into the car corner of their bedroom.

They wake up on the floor of the church. Hercules and Alex, both very much alive, kneeling over them.

How did they get here?

\---

_June 14, 2013_

Eliza leads Angelica, Maria, Aaron Alex, Lafayette, and Hercules down the dirt path to the family mausoleum. It's the biggest structure in the cemetery, all white marble with tall columns.  
  
"I didn't think I'd be here this soon," Angelica says.

"Because she died so young or because it's only been three months?" Hercules asks. Angelica is silent for a long time.

"Both," she responds, setting down the flowers she brought in front of the gate.

The gate has been replaced since Peggy's death, the iron rods placed securely over the marble slab sealing the crypt closed. Eliza knows why her father chose to replace it. He wants to protect Peggy because he couldn't before. He blames himself for her death.

Eliza knows that he's not the only one. She saw the guilty look on Alex's face at her viewing. She noticed the way that Angelica whispered that it was her fault to Peggy when she was standing over her body. Eliza knows that she feels like she should have been there to protect Peggy when this had happened.

They go to John's grave next. Alex leaves flowers at it, kissing the top of the stone. He stands in between Hercules and Lafayette, crying. Hercules pulls Alex to him by wrapping his arms around Alex's shoulders. Alex starts sobbing, holding onto Hercules' arms. He only lets go to take hold of Lafayette's hand. Maria's hand squeezes hers, and Eliza knows what she's thinking.

"You okay?" Eliza asks. Maria wipes a tear from her cheek.

"I'm fine," she whispers, but her grip is almost punishing.

"You're not going to lose me," Eliza assures her. Maria's head turns to her, she's crying freely now. Eliza hugs her, making sure Maria knows that she's there.

Lafayette, Alex, Hercules, Maria, and Angelica all go to the Washingtons' grave while Aaron and Eliza go to Theodosia's. Burr had tried to go alone, but Elia wouldn't let him. Burr tries to say that he likes being alone, but Eliza can see how much better he functions after he's been around them.

Burr is silent for a long time. He lies the flowers on her grave, nodding at Eliza to say that he's ready to leave. They join the rest of them as they're leaving.

Eliza isn't sure that this will ever be easier. She's not sure how many years it will be until she's in here next to Peggy herself. She doesn't want to know.

Maria takes her hand again as they walk out of the gate.

She'll be fine as long as she always has someone to hold her hand.

\---

_July 12, 2013_

Alex isn't home yet.

It's ten o'clock at night, and Alex isn't home yet.

Lafayette is pacing around the room, raking their hands through their hair. Alex can't do this. He knows what it's like when he does this.

"Where is he?" Lafayette asks Hercules. Hercules is sitting on the couch, breathing slowly. If you looked at him, you would think he's calm. Lafayette knows him though. Lafayette can hear the harsh way he exhales, the tremor in his left arm. The way his leg bounces.

"I don't know," Hercules answers for the fourth time that evening. Lafayette stops, looking at him. They sit down next to him on the couch, hugging him. He hugs back as best he can with the awkward angle.

"He told me that he was going to work late tonight, but I didn't think he meant this late," Lafayette says.

"Maybe he fell asleep," Hercules suggests casually. His leg is still bouncing. Lafayette shakes their head.

"He can never sleep at his desk for more than two hours. It hurts his back to much and it wakes him up," Lafayette explains.

"How do you know that?" Hercules asks in the tone he uses when he's trying to distract them. Lafayette goes with it, allowing Hercules to take their mind off of this.

"He fell asleep for four hours at his desk once and when he woke up, his back made this horrid cracking noise. I was terrified but he just hissed and ignored it. John had to leave the room because he was so bothered by the noise it made," Lafayette recalls, smiling at Hercules' laugh.

"He did a few more times after that," they continued, "but he started saying how it started hurting more so he's not going to fall asleep that long anymore." Hercules nods.  
Lafayette's phone rings on the loveseat. Lafayette dives for it, half on the ground by the time they answer.  
  
"Alexander where are y-"

" _Is this Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette?_ " A woman asks. Her pronunciation is off, but Lafayette knows their name when they hear it.

"This is them," they say into the phone, turning to Hercules. Hercules sits back on the couch, shaking his head.

" _I'm sorry to inform you, but Mr. Hamilton was murdered this evening in a knife fight_ ," she says hesitantly.

Lafayette wants to reject this. They want to go to whatever force of nature decided to kill off five of the people they hold most dear to them and make it go back and change this. They want to tell this woman that that's not possible. That Alexander is just working late and that he'll be home soon enough. They know that that's not true though. They aren't allowed to be naive right now.

"How did it happen?" They ask. There's a sound of rustling paper on the other line. Hercules looks at them, eyebrows furrowed, questioning. Lafayette shakes their head, eyes stinging. Hercules leans back on the couch again, running his hands down his face.

" _He was in a knife fight but died of a gunshot wound that lodged in his spine. Someone called the ambulance but by the time they got there everyone was gone and it was too late. I'm very sorry_ ," the woman responds. Lafayette almost laughs. Of fucking course Alexander would die because someone decided to bring a gun to knife fight.

" _We need you, as his next of kin, to come to the hospital and formally identify the body_ ," the woman tells them.

"I'll be right there," Lafayette says, hanging up the phone. They rush around to find their shoes.

"What happened?" Hercules questions. He's bracing for the impact of something that's already hit him.

"He got shot," Lafayette says. They can't find their shoes. Hercules grabs them by the arm.

"Is he dead?" Hercules asks. Lafayette stares straight ahead at the front door, nodding silently. Hercules drops their hand.

"They need me to formally identify him." Lafayette's voice cracks.

They find their shoes are under the end table.

They can't remember when they got there.

\---

July 15, 2013

_They are alone_.

Not literally. The remaining Schuyler sisters, Maria, and Burr are all here with them, watching as Alex is buried next to John.

"I don't want this," Lafayette whispers to them. Hercules understands.

They don't want two of their boyfriends dead. They don't want to watch as one of them is lowered into the ground next to other. They don't want the looks of sympathy and pity they've gotten and have yet to receive.

They all go back to the Schuylers' after the service. Eliza had invited them to stay the night, which they accepted.

Hercules doesn't want to go home.

The four of them had bought that apartment together. It was theirs. You couldn't look one way without seeing something that reminded them of John or Alex. Lafayette had brought up moving yesterday, saying how they can't do anything in their apartment without seeing Alex and John in something.

"I can't lose any more of you," Angelica says. She sits next to Eliza. Her sister's head is on her shoulder.

They have a proper sleepover that night, laugh and trying to forget the pain of the people they've been losing over the past two years. It helps, but not enough.

It's not enough to stop Lafayette from crying until they fall asleep. Not enough to stop Hercules from waking up in the middle of the night because of the nightmares. Not enough to get Eliza or Angelica to unlock Peggy's bedroom door. It's not enough to stop Burr from locking himself in their bathroom with the lights on because he could've sword he saw Theodosia staring at him from outside of the living room window. It's not enough to get Maria to believe that Eliza isn't going to die and leave her here alone. 

It might never be enough.

\---

_March 13, 2014_

The past year has passed by slowly. A lot of anniversaries have passes. A lot of grief. A lot of money spent buying flowers.

Burr moved in with Angelica, Eliza, and Maria in their new apartment, unable to stand being alone in his own anymore. Lafayette and Hercules have moved into the same building. Lafayette spent a week in the hospital. Hercules slept in Angelica's bed for those nights, not wanting to be alone. He had said he was fine with sleeping on the couch but Angelica wouldn't hear of it. She wouldn't like being an apartment alone either. Burr spent a whole day in the cemetery, fell asleep against Theodosia's grave and couldn't text the rest of them.

He woke up to Eliza crying, soaking wet from the thunderstorm that he had slept through the beginning of.

They were healing until they weren't anymore.

Eliza is walking with Maria up the stairs of their apartment building. Eliza is laughing at a joke Maria told her, pausing when she steps in a puddle of something.  
It's blood.

They look up the staircase.

Eliza screams. Maria can't.

Angelica is lying there, skull cracked open. Her ankle is twisted in a way it shouldn't be and her purse is spilled behind her on the landing. Eliza calls an ambulance. She watches as her last surviving sister's body is carried on the stretcher and into the ambulance. Maria's arms are wrapped securely around her.

Elizabeth Schuyler. The last surviving Schuyler child.

\---

_March 15, 2014_

Eliza is disturbed at how easily she plans funerals now.

She has seven bouquets of flowers packed into the backseat of her car like an arsenal. She's done this too many times. She has too many dresses to wear for this. Too many thoughts on what ifs and who's next. Next. As if they're all lining up to die like it's a rollercoaster.

It's all too much.

She goes home after the funeral with Maria, Aaron, Lafayette, and Hercules. Eliza, Maria, and Aaron are staying at Hercules and Lafayette's apartment until either of them can walk past the blood stains on the stairs without having flashbacks of Angelica lying there. Aaron hadn't seen it, but he still doesn't like to be alone, so he sleeps on the living room couch.

Finally, after months of paying rent for an apartment they don't go in, Eliza, Maria, and Aaron move out of their apartment. Hercules and Lafayette decide to move with them, all of them living in one apartment now.

They're together now. It's a long and sad story from point John to point Angelica, with so many other points in between that it keeps them up at night, but they're here.  
Together.

\---

March 4, 2015

Hercules runs up to the apartment building door, sighing when he realized he forgot his key. He tries to press the buzzer button to ask one of them to buzz him up, but the sign that said ' **OUT OF ORDER** ' in big black letters makes it pretty clear that that's no longer an option.

He checks his phone, making sure that he's not late. The anniversary of Peggy and Angelica's deaths is coming up soon, so they're all being very careful not to worry her more than she is all the time.

" _Hello?_ " Lafayette asks, voice slightly afraid. They've been worried about getting phone calls since Alex. Hercules didn't understand as much as he did until Lafayette had officially made him their emergency contact and he jumped every time they called.

"Hey, I forgot my keys in my studio can you come down and let me in?" Hercules asks back trying the door once again.

" _Yeah, sure. I'll see you in a minute_ mon cher _, love you_ ," Lafayette says. Hercules can hear the sound of the front door opening on the other side of the call.

"Love you too," Hercules says and ends the call.

"Help!" Hercules hears someone scream from the shady alleyway beside their building. He contemplates going to help the person, sending a text in their group chat saying where he went before he goes to check it out.

He navigates the damp alleyway cautiously. He swears that if he sees one rat here that he's bolting to JFK and flying himself into the sun. He's almost at the gate that marks the end of the alley when two unfamiliar hands grab him by the shoulders.

Now, Hercules is a pretty big guy, so when he meets two guys that are both much bigger than him in a dark alleyway, he has to admit that he's afraid.

In the middle of being mugged, he's not thinking of the money he's losing or the knife in his stomach. He's thinking about how Lafayette is probably standing at the door waiting from him to come back.

Getting stabbed hurts so fucking much.

The guys run away. Hercules collapses, trying desperately to crawl through the alleyway and back to Laf. He can't die on them. He can't do that.

Lafayette is in the alley now. Hercules doesn't know when they got there. They're crying, dragging his body out of the alley. Hercules feels something pressing down on the wound on his stomach, takes him a minute to process the fact that it's Lafayette's shirt. They're shivering in the cold, but Hercules doesn't think they care. They call an ambulance, voice trembling.

"You can't do this to me. Please don't do this me," Lafayette begs. Hercules flinches as Lafayette's tears hit his face.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Lafayette. I'm trying so hard right now, but I can feel it coming. I can't see anything past you anymore. Everything is getting darker Lafayette, I-I-"

"Don't talk, please," Lafayette presses harder on the gash.

"I-I can see stars?" Hercules whispers, confused.

"You can't see stars in the city," Lafayette responds. They can hear the ambulance down the street. Hercules doesn't hear them or the ambulance.

"You're so beautiful," Hercules says.

Then his body goes slack. Lafayette is screaming, tears pouring down their face, falling on Hercules.

He's gone. Lafayette is alone.

\---

_March 7, 2015_

Burr is far from knowing what it's like to have all three of your significant others murdered, but he knows that loss always hurts. He knows the pain. The heart shattering grief.  
Lafayette stays in the pew alone. They had specifically asked for everyone to sit in the pew behind them. Burr knows this, too. Knows that at one time he was like this. He doesn't know how different it is for them now that they lost more.

He's not sure he wants to know.

Hercules is buried next to Alex and John. Burr wonders when this cemetery will be filled because their bodies are flooding it.

Lafayette reacts differently to Hercules' death than they did to Alex and John's. Possibly because Hercules died in their arms. Maybe because when Alex and John died, they always had somebody to wrap their arms around them and convince them that they weren't alone. That they'll always have someone to kiss and love as freely as they want to. Now there's no one like that for them.

Lafayette has been running the Washingtons' company since Martha died. They continue that, but it's different. Lafayette goes to the cemetery straight after work. They always text in their group chat where they're going, sending hourly updates.

One day Burr had gone with them to visit Theodosia, but he was distracted by Lafayette. Lafayette had carried a blanket with them and sat on it. They were talking, going over their day. Burr watches them as they laugh, wiping their tears. They sit there for a long time, jumping when Burr stands next to them.

"What are you doing?" Burr asks, genuinely curious. Lafayette laughs brokenly.

"I've come here every day since Hercules died to tell them about how my life is going," Lafayette answers, looking up at him.

"Does it help?" He questions, sitting down on the blanket next to them. Lafayette shrugs.

"Not really, it just comforting to let them know," they whisper, leaning against Burr. Burr accepts the presence.

They sit there in silence for a long time, watching the sun set from behind their significant others' graves.

\---

July 4, 2015

Eliza isn't sure what to do when James Madison buzzes in on the intercom and says that they need her help. Eliza buzzes him up.

Eliza has never been close to James Madison, in fact she could probably count the number of times in which she has spoken to him on both hands. But when she has never been able to turn people down when they need her help, so she buzzes him up anyway. After she does, she goes to Lafayette's door and knocks on it, making sure that they leave their room at least one time today.

" _Je serai dans une minute_ ," they call. Eliza doesn't know what that means, but she caught the word minute so she accepts it.

Eliza doesn't realize it at first.

She lets Madison in the door as Lafayette comes out of their room. Tears are drying on Madison's face.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Madison asks, voice wrecked. Lafayette looks heartbroken. Tears are pooling in their eyes.

"Eliza? What's going on?" Lafayette asks. They're reaching back for their bedroom door.

"I thought you were dead. I just got called saying that you died," Madison says, backing up until he he hits the door.

"Are you kidding?"

It hits Eliza like a train.

"He's Madison and they're Lafayette," she says, unable to find the words to explain better. Madison stands up straight. Lafayette takes their hand off of their doorknob.

"Oh," Lafayette whispers. Eliza sees it drain out of both of them. The hope that their boyfriends actually were still alive. The willingness to forgive them for faking their deaths and take them back like nothing had happened. The life that they both seemed to be losing anyway.

"What do you mean Jefferson is dead?" Eliza questions.

"He got a call saying that John Adams' had been rushes to the hospital because of something with his heart. He had rushed there and then I got a call saying that Thomas had been in a car accident and had died on impact," Madison explains. Lafayette is still just staring at him.

"I never noticed how much you look like him," they tell him. Eliza doesn't think that they're blinking.

"I could say the same to you."

James Madison moves in with them three months later. His formal bed is the pull out couch in the living room but he often falls asleep in Lafayette's room after they spend hours talking. Eliza does thin that it's odd that they're taking comfort in the fact that they look like people that either of them have lost, but she is happy that they're helping one another.  
  
She hears Lafayette laugh, followed by Madison's quieter chuckling. Eliza smiles.

They're healing.

\---

_October 22, 2015_

This wasn't happening. Eliza had lost her sisters, her parents, almost all of her friends, and now this just adds to this list.

Maria Lewis had been murdered on October 22, 2015 at 2:43 A.M after rejecting a man's invitation to go home with him.

Eliza knows that guy was caught. She didn't catch the name she was given. Something with a J? She had woken everyone up, dragging them all with her to the hospital.

Dark purple bruises marked Maria's neck. Eliza is sobbing, crying so hard that she's gagging. Lafayette turns her away, pulling her into their arms.

She wants this to be over. Why can't this be over?

\---

_October 24, 2015_

Madison, Aaron, Lafayette, and Eliza are the only four people to show up at Maria's funeral. Maybe Eliza hadn't told anyone else that she was dead. Had she?

Eliza doesn't remember. She can't. She forgets things all the time now. James, Burr, and Lafayette all know what it's like to have their significant others murdered. They understand her. She needs that.

She needs them.

\---

_May 20, 2016_

Lafayette broke down.

Eliza comes from work late. When she walks through the door, she sees Aaron and James were standing in front of the bathroom. Burr's knuckles were bleeding from how hard he was pounding on the door, pure terror in his eyes. Eliza didn't say a word before she goes over to the silverware drawer and pulls out a fork. She uses it to pick the lock.

Eliza is gasps. Burr starts screaming, from just yelling no to kicking the doorframe and yelling curses as loud as he can. James covers his own eyes, not able to look.

Lafayette is lying in their bathtub. There's a pill bottle with Alex's name printed on the label sitting on the floor.

It's empty.

\---

_August 27, 2017_

By the sixth anniversary of John's death, Eliza is the only one of them left alive.

James had gotten sick shortly after Lafayette had died. He had always been sick with minor colds and other minor diseases, but this time it was different. He could barely breathe with this sickness. He spent all of his time in bed, unable to move. Burr and Eliza had taken care of him until his last minute.

It was June 28.

Eliza wasn't with Burr when he died. He had been at a job interview, the Washingtons' company coming to an end once Lafayette had died, and he'd done something. That something caused him to have a stroke, and that's what he died from. Burr died on September 14.

Eliza moved out of their apartment, moving to the other side of the city just to breathe again. She was alone in the world now, nobody to be there to tell her everything was okay.  
She drives to the cemetery. Hands tight on the steering wheel, face blank. She leaves the flowers on each of their graves, not spending any time to think about how truly lonely she is or how much she misses them.

She can't think about that right now.

\---

_November 9, 2017_

Eliza can't feel anything. Her body is numb. She doesn't know where she is. She can't remember what happened. Something is beeping and someone is yelling but she can't see it. She can barely hear it. She knows that she's panting but she doesn't know if she has to be.

Everything goes black.

She wakes up on a brick pathway. What?

"She's here!" She hears someone yell. That can't be. She turns to face them.

Lafayette is standing over her, fingers intertwined with John's. John laughs, kissing Lafayette's temple. Both of them are pushed out of the way and before Eliza even sees who it is, their arms are around her.

She can feel the fabric of the sweater than Peggy used to wear and smell the shampoo that Angelica used to buy in bulk. They pull away from her to actually look at her face. They're all crying.

They pick her up, and everyone is there looking at them. Hercules and Alex are there, hugging Lafayette and John as they rejoin them. Burr is standing next to Theodosia, beaming as she fiddles with the engagement ring around her finger. George and Martha are there, watching her like parents watching their child drive off to college for the first time. Madison is smiling apologetically at Eliza, hands on Jefferson's shoulders.

The she sees her.

Maria pushes past the crowd. Her hair is draped around her shoulder beautifully. She's wearing a red polka dot dress.

She's immaculate.

They sprint to meet each other, Eliza picking her up and spinning her around.

This is an eternity she can get used to.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry??


End file.
